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And the moral of the story is...

Bygone Corset

Never try on a new corset when you're home alone.

*ahem*

That was the short version of the story. The long version involves ordering a new black costuming piece and having it show up without a busk. For those of you not in the know, that's the metal industrial hook-and-eye dealio up the front that lets you get the corset on loose then tighten the strings down the back.

My Corset People thought a new look was in order, apparently, because this one has a lovely rounded neckline and no busk. I emailed Dan the Corset Guy (who is the real-life version of Valentijn from Perchance To Dream/So Silver Bright, btw) and he emailed back that I just need to wiggle it on over my head.

Let's say the next ten minutes are full of wiggling. And once it is on, it's darling and different and hell-to-the-yes sexy. I am chuffed.

Five seconds later, I realize that I'm also stuck. Because she who wiggles a corset down by the bottom edge cannot contort enough to reverse the process.

Check the clock. "Oh, it's only 30 minutes to lunch and when The Boy gets home. I can hang out that long. Ahahahah. AHAHAHAHAHAH." 

*...WHEEZE as I realize that clock didn't get changed after Daylight Savings Time and it's an hour and half until he gets home*

I might have sent my long-suffering writer-pal Glenn a flail-y email about being stuck in my ladygear and that I was having a sexy panic attack. He was kind enough not to laugh at me, suggesting instead any number of things (once he got a clear mental picture of WTF I'd done to myself) before telling me to turn it front-to-back to access the laces.

I held out another 15 minutes before caving, unlacing it halfway up the back and then wriggling out of it.

Now see the love I have for all of you? I do these things so you don't have to! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
apocalypticbob
Nov. 6th, 2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
This made me giggle so hard that I had to share it with my housemate! Glad you wriggled free of your sexy incarceration.
lisamantchev
Nov. 6th, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
It was even funny at the time. Minus the flailing. It's going to make a GREAT over-drinks convention story. XD
etcet
Nov. 6th, 2012 07:30 pm (UTC)
If you really loved us, there's be video, or at least pictures. :-p
lisamantchev
Nov. 6th, 2012 07:33 pm (UTC)
I will try it on AGAIN for pictures. This was... less pretty and more AAAAAAARGH than I like for photo shoots.
etcet
Nov. 6th, 2012 09:34 pm (UTC)
So you want to deny us the piquant honesty of your spastic plight?

(This is why I don't do nanowrimo anything more than utterly half-assedly; all my good lines end up in other people's LJs and shit... or I mutter stuff about workout modalities on that blog...)
edgyauthor
Nov. 6th, 2012 10:37 pm (UTC)
LOL! Glad to hear you finally managed to free yourself from that corset's clutches. :P
lisamantchev
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:15 am (UTC)
I DID. It was an epic half hour, let me tell you... ;)
writerjenn
Nov. 7th, 2012 01:23 am (UTC)
That brought back memories of trying on a certain wedding dress, which had a tight bow sewn around the midsection in such a way that putting it on required gyrations that should've qualified me for the Olympics. I did not buy that dress!
lisamantchev
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:16 am (UTC)
Thank goodness for that! (And WHAT were they THINKING?!)
delusionalangel
Nov. 7th, 2012 02:07 am (UTC)
Dressing without your handmaiden, how silly!
lisamantchev
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:16 am (UTC)
Exactly. *sits and waits for my lady's maid to arrive*
mcjulie
Nov. 7th, 2012 03:12 pm (UTC)
Of course, the fact that you were alone also means no pictures...
lisamantchev
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:22 pm (UTC)
You are not the first to demand pics. ALL OF YOU ARE NAUGHTY NAUGHTY MINIONS. *G*
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )