Never try on a new corset when you're home alone.
That was the short version of the story. The long version involves ordering a new black costuming piece and having it show up without a busk. For those of you not in the know, that's the metal industrial hook-and-eye dealio up the front that lets you get the corset on loose then tighten the strings down the back.
My Corset People thought a new look was in order, apparently, because this one has a lovely rounded neckline and no busk. I emailed Dan the Corset Guy (who is the real-life version of Valentijn from Perchance To Dream/So Silver Bright, btw) and he emailed back that I just need to wiggle it on over my head.
Let's say the next ten minutes are full of wiggling. And once it is on, it's darling and different and hell-to-the-yes sexy. I am chuffed.
Five seconds later, I realize that I'm also stuck. Because she who wiggles a corset down by the bottom edge cannot contort enough to reverse the process.
Check the clock. "Oh, it's only 30 minutes to lunch and when The Boy gets home. I can hang out that long. Ahahahah. AHAHAHAHAHAH."
*...WHEEZE as I realize that clock didn't get changed after Daylight Savings Time and it's an hour and half until he gets home*
I might have sent my long-suffering writer-pal Glenn a flail-y email about being stuck in my ladygear and that I was having a sexy panic attack. He was kind enough not to laugh at me, suggesting instead any number of things (once he got a clear mental picture of WTF I'd done to myself) before telling me to turn it front-to-back to access the laces.
I held out another 15 minutes before caving, unlacing it halfway up the back and then wriggling out of it.Now see the love I have for all of you? I do these things so you don't have to! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.